FINALLY, a politician is willing to tackle the important pressing issues our time. An Oklahoma senator has introduced a bill that would ban “the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses.”

To that end, his proposed statute reads, “No person or entity shall manufacture or knowingly sell food or any other product intended for human consumption which contains aborted human fetuses in the ingredients or which used aborted human fetuses in the research or development of any of the ingredients.”

My own research suggests that Shortey may have noticed a boycott directed at PepsiCo, which since 2010 has worked with flavor research firm Senomyx to develop sweeteners and other flavorings.

Based in San Diego, Senomyx has been accused of using proteins derived from human embryonic kidney cells in its research, which has been used by many large food companies. An article in the Miami New Times summarizes those claims, notes the company’s denial of them — and also notes that in 2003, the company filed a patent for “recombinant methods for expressing a functional sweet taste receptor.”

Gawker has coverage of this story that you should go check out, letting you know which product are aborted fetus free and which may not be…

But on the other side: it’s a cool photoshopping of a skeletal kid in an urban playground, so I guess that’s cool enough for a post…

I just can’t tell if it’s a meta-subliminal or if it really wasn’t intentional… no way it’s the latter, right?.. I think?

Idk what I’m more fascinated by: the fact that theres a product sales place called JosephJoseph or that they sell this simple but wonderful item.

Plus, I really like the camera shutter slash futuristic electronic door opening. If I bought this product I would constantly look through it and pretend my spaghetti was James Bond while humming the tune and splashing tomato sauce on it at the appropriate musical cue. I also think it goes without saying that I’d have to to put my d#ck through it so I could see how many people it feeds. Naturally.

This innovative, compact spaghetti measure provides an adjustable portion guide for 1-4 servings. Simply slide the small lever around the side of the disc, opening the camera-style aperture to the required portion size. Made from high quality polypropylene, its available in a variety of colours.

You know it’s a UK product cuz of the way they spelled “colors”. Psh. Damn You K’ers for your superior noodle preparing technology…

UPDATE: It took me years into my adult life to work up the chemistry skills to boil water in order to make noodles so I havent made it to making my own rice at home yet, but I imagine the same problem would persist. So while I can’t claim I have this issue yet, the following is still lulzy. A viewer sent me this:

The only thing wrong with this is that there is no way anyone could put him through the holocaust of cooking it so it couldn’t be eaten and thus my dream of consuming Biebs in order to become him is still just a dream .

I love the ambition here though. While not an appropriate food item, it’d make an excellent sexual aid.

Now mobile venders in El Paso Texas have just won a big victory on this battlefield by getting a zoning restriction repealed after suing over their unconstitutional nature.

The reason the law wants to ban food trucks is to protect big businesses from small businesses. Insanity. Susie Diaz, EP of the Restaurant Association admitted on camera “We wanted this ordinance in place to help established restaurants keep their business”.

The Institute for Justice explained the fight in January:

Practiced since ancient times, street vending is more popular than ever. The Economist magazine predicted that in 2011 “some of the best food Americans eat may come from a food truck.” Vendors are the darlings of many food critics, and they even have their own reality show on the Food Network.

But El Paso, Texas, has recently made it illegal for mobile food vendors to operate within 1,000-feet of any restaurant, convenience store, or grocer. The city even prohibits vendors from parking to await customers, which forces vendors to constantly drive around town until a customer successfully flags them down–and then be on the move again as soon as the customer walks away.

Thus, while people across the country embrace mobile vendors for the vitality and creativity they bring to a local restaurant scene, El Paso has decided to threaten vendors with thousands of dollars in fines and effectively run them out of town. El Paso’s No-Vending Zone scheme is in place for one reason: to protect brick-and-mortar restaurants from honest competition. But economic protectionism is not a valid use of government power.