So now you know…

Sequels on the way:

The movie debuted with a staggering $207.4 million from U.S. and Canadian theaters over the weekend, the biggest debut in film history. Globally, the film has pulled in $702.2 million.

The film unites Marvel superheroes including Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor and The Hulk in a battle against a villain out to destroy the Earth. Stars include Robert Downey Jr. and Scarlett Johansson.

The second “Avengers” movie will follow a previously announced “Thor” and “Iron Man” sequels coming in 2013 and a new “Captain America” movie in 2014, Disney Chief Executive Bob Iger told industry analysts.

From the premier:

The real takeaway form this, however?
This image proves that abs are the keys to success. the only one in this picture who has a career still is the one flashin them here.

“This whole thing with Obama saying the rich don’t pay their taxes is fucking bullshit, and I voted for the guy and I’m a Democrat. What a fucking asshole,” -Jon Lovitz.

And then he got even better: “First they say … ‘You can do anything you want. Go for it.’ So then you go for it, and then you make it, and everyone’s like, ‘Fuck you,’” Lovitz said. “[Obama] is the perfect example. He’s amazing. He had nothing … and the guy ends up being at Harvard. He’s the president of the United States. And now he’s like, ‘Fuck me and everybody who made it like me.’”

I’ll find out whom his partner on stage was before I publish this post, but at the time, I’m not sure of anything except that he’s a terrible performer and kindov a douche. Actually, I feel bad saying that because I suspect from the sound of the voice that it is Kevin Smith and its hard not to like Kevin Smith. But whomever it is – they’re awful. ZERO improv skills and general plain douchery. That was what I paid the most attention to. What Lovitz is saying is just what I’ve been saying for years. But his stage-mate had nothing to add to either the commentary or performance. Unforgivable.

Proper response to this situation:
Agree with Lovitz? Cool. say so and why. “Yes, and” rules of improving.
Disagree with Lovitz? Cool. say so and why. “Yes, and” rules of improving if you have talent (trickier to do when disagreeing) but if you dont then no worries – just butt heads. clash. Tell him HE’S the asshole or whatever it is you think. do SOMEthing for Christ sake.
Uncomfortable with the topic or don’t have anything to say? “Yes, and” rules of improving by going on a tangent or springboarding into more familiar territory.

What happened was none of the above. Instead, the dude just blandly naysays with no jokes, no substance, no anything to offer the performance or his partner at all. He just tries to get Lovitz to stop talking with snide tactics that dumbass teenage girls use like “are you done?”.

UPDATE: It is indeed Kevin Smith. God dammit…

Lovitz also criticized Smith for “masquerading as a 99 percenter” — a reference to the Occupy Wall Street movement that the director said he supports.

Later on in the podcast when Lovitz’s diatribe against Obama really started to heat up, Smith suggested that the government would come and shut down the podcast.

“They’re gonna come in and shut this place down, man. They’re gonna be like: ‘We heard the fourth fucking episode. You won’t leave Obama alone.’ This is an election year, man … they’re gonna come in and make an example of you, man,” Smith said. “The government can do that. They can take your shit away.”

As Smith goaded Lotivz, the lights in the theater abruptly turned off. Smith said, “Whoa, what the fuck happened? Oooh. The government’s here. They turned the lights off!”

Britney Spears? Fat.
Christina Aguilera? Fat.
Jessica Simpson? Fat.
Marolyn Monroe? Dead.

Lindsay Lohan survived years as a redhead – dyed her hair blonde – and BAM – trainwreck…

And now, the hot sister/daughter from that 70′s show, Lisa Robin Kelly … She was recently arrested. and this is what she looked like:

Here’s a video of her where she acts like she’s on drugs while she says she was not on drugs at the time of the horrorshow mugshot:

Younger-Jobs is much more Kutchery and the actor says the role “was meant for him”.

Dennis Miller will be joining an ABC comedy pilot titled Awesometown:

The comedy pilot, from writer/executive producer Sztykiel and 20th Century Fox TV, is described as a raw, hilarious peek behind the curtain of modern twentysomething relationships. It centers on Dusty (Rappaport), a twentysomething guy who, after a divorce, moves into an apartment shared by his co-worker Andrew (Nick Kocher) and roommate Oliver (James Earl III). Miller will play Nelson Burke, the genius boss of Burke Architecture, “who has never smiled and is surgical with his cut downs.”

Not so good of news for Rosie O’Donnell as the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) has cancelled “The Rosie Show.” Oprah released the following statement:

I thank Rosie from the bottom of my heart for joining me on this journey. She has been an incredible partner, working to deliver the best possible show every single day. As I have learned in the last 15 months, a new network launch is always a challenge and ratings grow over time as you continue to gather an audience. I’m grateful to Rosie and the dedicated Rosie Show team for giving it their all.

What went wrong?

OWN went for broke with the launch of The Rosie Show, whose October premiere, along with that of Oprah’s Lifeclass, were blasted on five Discovery networks. The struggling and money-losing OWN spent some $10 million to market the two shows, whose debut was touted as an unofficial OWN relaunch. That $10 million went where the previous $250 million+ in investment from Discovery went — down the drain. After an OK start with 500,000 viewers tuning in to the premiere, Rosie quickly lost more than half of that to average under 200,000 viewers for most of its run, while Lifeclass was pretty much DOA. Why did O’Donnell, who had two successful previous daytime talk show stints under her belt, on her own syndicated show and on ABC’s The View, fizzle so quickly?

The reasons have to do with OWN and with O’Donnell, with their partnership appearing doomed from the start. It’s hard to get traction for a new show on a network very few people are watching. It also doesn’t help that Rosie was scheduled at 7 PM, a time period no one associates with talk shows, which normally air in daytime and late-night. Airing Rosie at a time when viewers are not in the habit of watching a talk show against venerable performers like Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy proved a tall order. Still, as Winfrey’s recent interview with Whitney Houston’s daughter, which attracted 3.5 million viewers, proved, noisy programing can draw eyeballs even on a very low-trafficked network.

Daily Beast has a sum up:

The episode trudged along, rather inconspicuously, with the first guest: the tattoo artist, former reality star, and ex-fiancée of Jesse James, Kat Von D. The Rosie we all knew and loved—the one who built a $100 million empire with her landmark talk show that ran for 1,193 episodes from 1996 to 2002—was virtually absent, replaced by a subdued and checked-out host. “Um … so … you’ve been in the limelight, had a public romance?” O’Donnell asked. “I thought that was the first famous guy you went out with,” she said, not even mentioning James by name. Since the episode was pretaped, it made no reference to something else significant: the show’s demise.

As the final credits rolled, the Oprah Winfrey Network issued a press release announcing The Rosie Show had been canceled, following six months of humiliating ratings.

At the Harpo offices in Chicago, O’Donnell’s staff had been alerted of the decision only hours before, after weeks of rumors that the show was on the chopping block. Over a short TV life span, through countless reboots and hiatuses, the series had morphed from a delightful comedy hour that nonetheless premiered to weak ratings in the fall to a bleak, Larry King–style interview program with C-list guests like the cast of Dance Moms and Jaleel White. Through all the changes, some 30 employees from producers to writers had left because of budget cuts and possibly because of a boss who couldn’t decide what she wanted and frequently humiliated them in public. “It was such a fucking hellhole,” says one former staffer.

Perhaps she has a fish allergy?

The weirdest one: Khloe Kardashian would get 2 season courtside Lakers tickets if her and Odom divorce. I’m told Odom plays for that team, so that means she would be taking a date to her ex-husbands games with good seating right near the hockey rink or whatever (Lakes to hockey – that’s a reasonable connection, right?).

The most awesome one: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson aren’t together anymore but when they were and there was proposal buzz, the rumor was that Romo wanted a clause stipulating that if Simpson gained weight above 135 pounds, she’d pay him $500,000.

Via my friend Meghan:

She was already above 135 when she was with him! I hate how much girls lie about their weight. Especially when it’s celebrities. Because it makes normal girls feel fatter. Like Jennifer Hudson saying she was a 2 (or actually I think it was a 4)? More like an 8… nevertheless, she looked great! But when I was 95 lbs. I could fit into a 2 in some clothes! And she definitely was (is) NOT 1 size bigger than me!

Tom Cruise has Katie Holmes so messed up with Scientology now that I’m sure she wouldn’t dare leave. I don’t know how Justin Timberlake is going to stay faithful, lol. (Well, he won’t. He’ll just be sneaky enough and even if he isn’t, Jessica Biel will take him back since she has no backbone.)

and MissAshleyPants adds to that: Sleazy guy reply to Megz: “I’d like to give *Biel* a good backboning!”