Trolling the “Kony 2012″ Lemmings

So everyone is posting stuff that says “Kony 2012″ with the symbols for the democrat and republican party in red white and blue. Of course i thought people wanted to vote for him for president at first and I know I cant be the only one. bizarre logo image and title to be using at all, but especially in a presidential election year. but whatever.

Evidently Joseph Kony is a bad person doing bad things in Africa and posting about him on Facebook and twitter will get him to stop being bad. or something. I admit ignorance on all of this cuz I havent watched the half hour documentary yet, but its kindov weird that people are acting like African warlords are something new instead of…something that has never NOT existed. I hate it as much as the next guy, but its not exactly breaking news that many parts of Africa are war torn hellholes where murder, rape and horrific life conditions are as commonplace as Justin Bieber having perfect hair (and eyes, and pouty lips and a – you get the idea). but then again: we dont see much of this stuff and humans are visual creatures. Thousands have been slaughtered int he Congo, but there are no news reporters there so there is no news that is reported. its unfortunate. and not new. but now everyone is super passionate about this Kony kook because people were told to care, saw other people doing it and jumped on the bandwagon like they always do. That doesnt mean its a bad bandwagon or this Kony person isnt all the evil things he’s accused of being, of course. I have no idea. I haven’t watched the video yet but you can if you havent either.

My first reaction to all this was “since when are all these hippie teenagers in favor of taking out military tyrants?”. ProTip for hippies: you would look like you don’t hate America so much if you didnt always only favor deposing tyrants in places where there is no American interest to do so… Afghanistan and Iraq torture, brutalize, rape and murder every day and American hippies protest the shit out of stopping it because the main reason we took those actions was for national security and not just to be Team America, World Police – yet, a non-US threat with no National gain is tipped off to these people and all of a sudden he must be stopped? dude. come on…

In the words of songsmitha nd poet Young Zee: “Nigga be fo real”. Kony can’t be captured by anyone. He could be assassinated. and then what? the next in line takes his place, ya dipshit. Thats how those things work… If you want change in the region, you have to undergo a regime change. that means invasion. war. bombs. boots on the ground. in Africa… with no national security reason… you want to expend American blood and treasure to invade a shithole country to rid it of an evil man because you watched a video on the internet. kinda like how you were against the war in Iraq because you saw a video on the internet? oy vey. One of the dumb hippie anti-war retorts to Iraq and Afghanistans brutal rapey oppressive murderific daily fair that America put an end to was that North Korea and Iran and yes, several areas of Africa, have it just as bad and because hippies are closet Communists and Communism is all about everything being the same – they actually thought it was an argument to bring things things up. ie: “we can’t go into Iraq because North Korea kills a lot of people too”. It didn’t make sense then for more than just that reason (chiefly because neither Iraq nor Afghanistan was ever for a moment a humanitarian mission. both wars, agree or disagree with their prudence, were operations of national security that both had huge humanitarian bonuses that we spent a lot of money to pay attention to, because we’re awesome like that), and it makes even less sense now. The hippies have taken their terrible argument from the previous war and actually used it as an even worse argument in favor of a new one. The argument is “Hey everyone – theres shit going down over here! how can we possibly not get in there and stop it??”.

Meanwhile… Obama is funding child soldiers in Congo and Yemen. but theres no half hour video of that. so who gives a fuck, amiright?

As a sidenote, if you wanna mess with your friends posting the anti-Kony stuff – post a picture of Agent George Dillon from the movie Predator with a caption that says something like “this guy is my HERO” and wait for people to comment, thinking its Joseph Kony.

then, after you’ve collected a sizable amount of hate from your friends – clue them in on who it really is and scold them for their racism. How dare they just look at a picture of a black guy and assume its someone evil, right? lulz. Same concept works with Forest Whitaker.

UPDATE: I was just instant messaged this other way to troll people: post this image and see how many of your friends are smart enough to either A) know that Uganda is not in South America or B) know that the continent shown in the image is in fact not Africa… Extra points if you can get anyone who comments thinking its a pork chop.