By sheer coincidence, that was Christie’s job at the 2012 Republican National Convention. As the keynote speaker, it was his assignment to “deliver a knockout blow” to Obama.
Let’s see how he did.
In Christie’s entire gaseous convention speech, he talked about New Jersey (ad nauseam), his parents, his kids, his upbringing, every tedious detail of his tedious life — “I coached our sons Andrew and Patrick on the fields of Mendham, and … I watched with pride as our daughters Sarah and Bridget marched with their soccer teams in the Labor Day parade.”
Just before I dozed off, I seem to remember Christie sharing his seven-layer dip recipe.
The guy whose role it was to attack the president mentioned Obama exactly one time. Once. And even then, not by name.
Here is Christie the Lion-Hearted taking the fight to Obama: “You see, Mr. President, real leaders do not follow polls. Real leaders change polls.”
And that’s how Christie bravely threw down the gauntlet to Obama on Benghazi, on Obamacare, on skyrocketing unemployment, on crony capitalism, on astronomical government spending and so on. He said: “Real leaders do not follow polls.”
Accusing a politician of following polls is the biggest cliche in politics after “He’s dividing us!” In Obama’s case, it isn’t even true. Would that he followed polls! If he did, we never would have gotten Obamacare.
Of course, there wasn’t much time for Christie to talk about Obama, because the main theme of his convention speech was: Chris Christie, Augustus Corpulus.
He said “I” 37 times and “me” eight times, breaking Kim Kardashian’s old record for a single tweet. He only mentioned our actual nominee (Mitt Romney) seven times — in order to tell us how we were all going to have to sacrifice and make hard choices, and Romney was just the man to tell America the bad news and make us all suffer.
I suppose Christie considered it more than sufficient to announce that he, personally, supported Romney: “If you’re willing to fight with me for Mitt Romney, I will fight with you.”
He — Chris Christie! — supported Romney. What more could voters want?
It was as if Christie had sent his speech to MSNBC for pre-approval.